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When your thoughts take over.

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Posted 10-19-2011 at 09:27 PM by muchlove
Updated 10-20-2011 at 04:30 PM by muchlove

right now, i'm listening to In Your Arms by Kina Grannis ( http://youtu.be/2lhPyhj069Y ) and the song is truly beautiful. there's certain songs i can listen to and immediately my thoughts are suddenly loud.

sometimes you don't need music. somethings all you need is silence. or sometimes you're in a room filled with loud noise whether it's because you're in a room full of people or you're at party. wherever you are-- whoever you are, you're bound to let your thoughts take over.

so for a while i'm at my desk staring blankly at the computer while i actually listen to my thoughts. i think about life most of the time. i think about how there's always something going on in this world that's much bigger than something that's already big. i think when we're going through a painful break up, someone else is going through chemotherapy. i think while we're dreading going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled out, there's someone out there fortunate enough to have at least one tooth.

this isn't about me saying be fortunate about everything. it's simply my mind racking up my thoughts and helping me understand life a little better. sometimes i think about love too. how i want to be happy. that's it. when i think of love, i think of the word like. at least right now i do. all i truly want is to be happy and be in deep like/love. like a friendship relationship.

i think about religion, too. i won't go deep into this-- but i think about it. i think about sins, i think about God, and i think about heaven/hell. i think about what makes sense, what's real, what's unnatural. i think am i living right? am i doing right?

when i think, i question everything. i get told one thing-- and although it may be true-- i still question it. i'm scared to think of death, or any type of tragedies (natural disasters, diseases, etc) but i do anyways. i'm afraid i may be diabetic because i always add sugar in my noodles to prevent the spicy-ness. and sometimes i'm foolish enough to add more when i know i can prevent diabetes as well.

there's my dreams too. i dream-- or think BIG.the scary thing about making your dreams come true is your dreams not happening at all. failing. that's one thing we're always afraid of. failing at winning a race, failing during school, failing at life.

this what i think about all the time when i'm in the realm of reality. i'm no problem solver to any of this nor am i giving advice. i think and i pray. i work hard and earn everything. i don't complain-- i adjust, fix it, or move on. i'm thankful and i'm fortunate.
Posted in Lifee : )
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